Striving for Perfection - An Unrealistic Goal


So some of you may know that last month I was blessed to be asked by the man of my dreams to marry him. The engagement had been a long time coming, but it didn’t stop the tears from flowing freely as we celebrated with my parents who were in town visiting. My dad cried, my mom didn’t until I told her who I planned on having as our flower girl and ring bearer. 😂 Thanks Sooz. Love you 😘

Plus Size Engagement Kansas City

But see, I already had so much planned out in my head because we live in a day-and-age where Pinterest and Social Media give us 100’s of ideas before we even met the one we plan to marry. As planning as officially started and with the Royal Wedding this past weekend, I started thinking about the pressure weddings put on a couple, their family and friends. This week was over-shadowed for many by the now Duchess’s father and other family drama, casting dark shadows over what should have been a beautiful week leading up to their special day. We as a society seem so wrapped up in what makes a perfect day, but every wedding is different and that’s what makes them beautiful. They’re not cookie cutter perfection, their unique, quirky, funny, emotional and meaningful to couple. This for me means breaking traditions you don’t agree with, keeping ones that seem important, not allowing family to dictate every piece, but letting some influence be okay, not feeling like you have to look or act a certain way, and most importantly doing what matters most to you and your fiancé.

These ideals have helped me decide what I want and need to keep close to my heart while I plan a wedding, but also have shaped and transformed as I continue to work in the wedding industry at a Plus Size Bridal Boutique (shout out to All My Heart Bridal!) Today we had the sweetest bride ever, who after finding her dress for her day said so many important things.

  1. She finally felt like a bride.

  2. Everyone deserves to find a dress and feel beautiful.

  3. She felt confident and beautiful.

SO MANY HAPPY, EMOTIONAL TEARS.

Yes! YES. Being plus size, curvy, big and tall - whatever your gender or identifier - can create a lot of stress when thinking about what you’re going to wear on your big day. This has been so incredibly stressful for me to think about. But why? Why are we so hung up on this? I want to be confident and courageous not held up on what others may think of me. In my case, my fiancé Zach tells me a lot how he loves me and my body - so I deserve to love it and show it off however I please on my day. Not hide behind what the world may see as appropriate. Having an eating disorder, I’ve had to learn to accept my body and mind as is, learning to recover in a healthy, steady pace. Often ignoring society’s push to be thin, be “healthy” and be “perfect”. None of these are really fair, or right for me. But - I have felt the push as wedding planning begins.

Other than weight, weddings are over shadowed by many decisions. Will their be a first look? Who will walk down the isle? Is there a gown? Is there a veil? What food is being served? What will the cake taste like? Is the venue comfortable? The list goes on and on, but I’m tired of thinking about it.

I truly believe that every wedding, no matter who it is between, should be a day that is memorable for the couple. As I’ve been planning my wedding, many have told me that I’m breaking a lot of “traditional” rules. But, it’s my day - I want to do what makes sense for Zach and I… not for what is right according to the world. I guess, my point is that do what makes you happy, not what your family, friends or community says you have to. So cheers to not serving a sit-down meal, not having a first look, not wearing a veil, crying at every memory and making the most of a day that's still a year and a half away.

Happy wedding season friends, live your best life.

Love always,

Bina.

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